Want to laugh, cry and throw up at the same time?

Then you need to see The Room.

It will change your life.

“BUT I DON’T LOVE HIM ANYMORE!”

<3 Keep Blabbing.

Jane

I am thinking about submitting this to a literary journal here at OU. Do you think it’s stupid?

Untitled

I did it because I wanted to see his face. I wanted to look into his eyes and see the same pain and fear that he put in mine every fucking day. I wouldn’t expect you to know what that is like. You fuckers never do.

You think the world is a bright place filled with good people and a couple screw-ups, but you’re wrong. This world is a dark place filled with bad people and the people that get screwed over by the bad people. You, with your smile and your perfectly white jacket, you’re one of the lucky few that maybe haven’t been screwed over yet. Or maybe you have done the screwing. To be honest, I don’t really give a fuck.

I did it, and I would do it again. I would stab that fucker ten more times just to see that look in his eyes.

There’s still blood under my fingernails. That lady out there made me wash my hands and my body again and again but there is still blood under my fingernails. I hope it stays there forever so I can remember his face and remember that fear in his eyes. I guess it will now, I’ll be buried with this blood under my fingernails. Blood from that fucking bastard.

He didn’t expect it you know. He was lying in bed thinking that he had just gotten away with beating me and then forcing himself on me again. He had a little smug smile in his sleep, you know. Well I took that fucking smug smile right off his pinched up little face.

You know what he woke up to? He woke up to me with a fucking knife in my hand, straddling him. I could have used a gun, but I wanted it to hurt. A gun, poison, that’s too fucking easy. I wanted it to be slow and I wanted him to know what was happening to him, just like he wanted me to know he owned me for all those years when he treated me like a piece of shit.

In the end, he knew that I owned him though, he knew I fucking won. As soon as his eyes opened and he was awake I stabbed him the first time. He struggled but I was ready for him and I just stabbed him more. For once I was straddling him and holding him down, not the other way around.

You always wanted me on top, I said and I stabbed him again in the chest. He didn’t think that was very funny though. He didn’t think that was very funny at all. Go on, laugh, I said but he didn’t so I laughed instead. I laughed and I stabbed him some more until he was so riddled with holes that I could practically see the dirty sheets underneath him. The sheets that he had raped me on time and time again, those fucking sheets he forced my face into every time he fucked me.

Take that bitch, he would say. Just like I said to him as I stabbed him again and again.

It was the best feeling of my life. I stabbed that motherfucker until he died. He was scared too, I could see it in his eyes, I recognized it immediately. It was the same look I had seen on my face when I looked in the mirror during those seven years he abused me. That wide-eyed blank look. It was there on his face when I stabbed him. It looks the same on everyone, you know. Looks the same on someone like me who was beaten, raped and tortured by her own fucking husband as it looks on someone like him who got stabbed to death by the same fucking woman he forced to tell him she would love him till death do they part.

I guess death came a little sooner than the asshole planned though didn’t it. I guess it fucking did.

Look at that fucking blood under my fingernails. No don’t touch it nurse, I want it to stay there. I want it to stay right fucking there as my body decays in the ground. I want it with me so even when I am dead I have proof that I fucking won. I beat that motherfucker.

I can see that you’re tired of me talking, aren’t you nurse. You want to go on thinking that this world is one big bright sunshine of a place and that I am just one of the fuck ups that you can stick that needle in and silence. Well go the fuck ahead; because I know this world isn’t a bright place, I would rather go to hell than stay here in a place filled with so many bastards.  You’ll find out the truth eventually, we all find out eventually. Least I came out on top, least in the end I was the one with the knife in my hand.

Go ahead and stick the needle in. Don’t feel bad about it; I am just getting fucked by the world again for stabbing a bastard to death. Stabbing a swearing, hitting, rapist of a bastard to death for torturing me and this is what I am getting. This is the world saying thank you to me for taking one of its star bastards out of play.

There you go, put the needle in. It doesn’t hurt you know, the initial prick. Just like it didn’t really hurt the first time he hit me. But it hurts later, it always hurts later. I can feel it now. It’s going into my veins isn’t it. Best fucking feeling I have ever felt because it’s the end. Have fun with your bright fucking sunshine of a world, because someday you’ll find out. Look at my fingernails… all that fucking blood under my. I feel it nurse, I feel it. Fuck this, fuck you and fuck that bastard. I still have blood under my…

The nurse pulled the needle out and tucked it into her pocket before anyone else could see. She slipped a vile of the serum into her pocket too before leaning her head down close to the dead woman whose lips were still parted as she had stopped mid sentence. The dead woman’s cheek was still warm.

The nurse smiled, her lips resting on that cheek and she thought of what a surprise her own husband was in for when she got home.

“Honey, I already know what a fucked up world this is,” she whispered to the corpse, and then she pulled a sheet over the dead woman’s head.

“I’m going to be on top tonight.”

I don’t want to play mafia wars.

I don’t care about farmville.

And if you ask me ONE MORE TIME to play poker with you I swear I will tear up your cornfields with my black sedan with tinted windows until you fold.

Got it?

No seriously though, I am a bit tired of all those applications on facebook. You hear that BIG BROTHER OF FACEBOOK. You can take your apps and shove it.

Anyone on another note my birthday is this weekend.

The Big 21! I am practically ancient. My hips will start giving out any day now. For that reason my only request for my birthday is a nice walker. Perhaps with some tricked out accessories like this:

Or this:

I’m not sure what it is, but it sure looks cool. Anything to spice up my life.

That’s all.

<3 Keep Blabbing.

Jane